It was a huge birth journey for this family. Tests for us all. I have yet to see such a technician of a doctor at a birth. She was a young HMO doctor. My client nearly kicked her in the face while the young maverick, manually turned my clients baby during the pushing stage to correct for OP (back labor) in the birth canal. Had she not done that, and applied a vacuum as baby began to crash later in the push, it would not have been a vaginal delivery. It was the most gentle vacuum extraction I have seen in over 500 births. The doctor played bad guy. She bullied. I held the space. The midwives and nurse could see I was chaffing. They said watch and wait. They trusted this doctor and I trusted them. Once little one was born the doctor teared up. She checked in with my client gently, and the next day again she showed up to listen to my client. To check in. Good. When we were up against it, this doctor did it all and more to avoid a C-section for my client.
When I went to check in on my clients postpartum, baby, mama, papa, and Checkers the dog. I was surprised how well adjusted everyone was. It was a crazy ride at the birth. I expected to process with their baby some because during the pushing stage I saw baby (her soul self) pop out of her body and cling to my neck. She then asked if I would hold her for now. I said, ” NO, get back into your body!” I was surprised. I wish I had said yes right away because she then stood next to her mother, alone. I beckoned her back over. “Its ok for now. Once you’re crowning (I gave her a visual in my minds eye of crowning.) get back in ok?” She is what I call a Tephlon baby. She was very much earth side and confident post birth.
During my visit postpartum everyone was solid except the dog. As I was about to leave Checkers rushed over. I could feel his overwhelm and anxiety. At the end of pre-natal’s previous I shared messages from Checkers about his teeth and jaw issues. He had surgery weeks before and found his food difficult to eat. Unbeknownst to me he had had surgery and my client immediately softened his food. This time Checkers very clearly communicated that he keeps messing up, and is worried they are going to get rid of him. He shared that he takes his job very seriously as protector of the new puppy. (baby) . My client and her husband began to tear up. Checkers was messing up and got yelled at a few times when baby was first home. He was confused that some things were for the new puppy (baby) and not for him. He thought it was all his, as things had been before. He feared being given away. No one wanted him much to begin with, he shared. My clients confirm that Checkers was the runt of the litter, and the last to find a home. They also confirmed their fear of his germs and dog hair getting all over the babys things, so they have had less patience with him now. I reassure him that this is his forever home, and that the breast feeding pillow is not his to sleep on. My clients pet Checkers as well and give him reassurance. I loved this family. I loved how open and trusting they were at every stage of our meeting and work together. Birth and postpartum are fascinating when you peek behind the curtain of the physical.
My favorite validation this week was simple. A deceased father coming through and showing me a rubber band he was playing with. My client didn’t understand it but her sister later confirmed that their father always had jars of rubber bands and always wore one on his wrist and played with it constantly. Simple but dear!
I am constantly reminded to let go and let wonder. Not always so easy. I believe half the time of my development as a young medium was about just getting used to, understanding, & trusting the terrain. I am still in awe of mediumship. So much so that at times that awe gets in the way. I catch myself thinking, wow I cant believe this is real, and can be done. I believe it was Mavis Pittilla that said, ” The most skeptical person in the room at a reading should be and usually is the medium.” So true. I expect more and more of myself and my work every time. I hunt refinement. It is a tricky dance, perhaps weighted in the need to control the field. In development I felt I was being reconstructed from the inside out. I never realized how strong my dedication to control was and is. I seek to understand, release and make peace with my love of control. When I move out of the way, I am filled in by the story. I recently discovered my resistance to the nitty gritty of a reading. I have found I often am allergic to the dark corners in a sitting. I am not one to pry in my everyday life. Even if the sitter gives permission, I have resistance. I am shocked to see my limitations, and thankful because now I can hunt. I hunt the obstacle of my own limitation. This can become addicting as well. As I write this I hear them hollering, “Make it a dance. Dance damn it. Just dance and let go, let go, let go.” Hahahaha