I am constantly reminded to let go and let wonder.  Not always so easy.  I believe half the time of my development as a young medium was about just getting used to, understanding, & trusting the terrain.  I am still in awe of mediumship.  So much so that at times that awe  gets in the way.  I catch myself thinking, wow I cant believe this is real, and can be done.  I believe it was Mavis Pittilla that said, ” The most skeptical person in the room at a reading should be and usually is the medium.” So true.  I expect more and more of myself and my work every time.  I hunt  refinement.  It is a tricky dance, perhaps weighted in the need to control the field.  In  development I felt I was being reconstructed from the inside out.  I never realized how strong my dedication to control was and is.  I seek to understand, release and make peace with my love of control.  When I move out of the way, I am filled in by the story.  I recently discovered my resistance to the nitty gritty of a reading.  I have found I often am allergic to the dark corners in a sitting.  I am not one to pry in my everyday life.  Even if the sitter gives permission, I have resistance.  I am shocked to see my limitations, and thankful because now I can hunt.  I hunt the obstacle of my own limitation.  This can become addicting as well.  As I write this I hear them hollering, “Make it a dance. Dance damn it.  Just dance and let go, let go, let go.”  Hahahaha